There is a gym on the ground floor where I currently live which is for the development’s residents only. I have been going there nearly every day for the past two weeks to work out. It is empty 90% of the time and I have never seen more than two people in there.
So, a few days back I came down the stairs, punched in the gym pass code to open the door, and proceeded inside without even hearing the TV in the background I assumed it would be empty like always. Instead there was a large group of people, occupying nearly the whole premise, sitting in a half-circle facing a wall with some strange scribbles on it. They were all dressed in proper gym attire and I thought that maybe they were all personal trainers and just finished a meeting. But why would they sit in perfect silence and not say a word?
There was no way I would walk past them and access the free weights area so I jumped on a crosstrainer while waiting for them to leave. Moments later a short man walks in and all eyes immediately turn to him. He takes his place with his back against the scribbled wall, and says: “The internet has been around for 15 years and it is here to stay. The internet is the future.”
Did I hear that right? Did the short little man just begin a speech about the internet and its future in 2013? I was intrigued! Ho-ho.
Indeed, I had walked into a “web” lecture in our private gym. The short man discussed everything from WordPress to Google analytics and how important it was to use all forms of social media and enable “sharing” buttons (he was really keen on this! Sharing and liking was the future). Blogging was also essential – otherwise how are you going to deliver new content to your visitors ever day (perhaps an advice I should follow haha)?
After twenty minutes they promptly left in silence and I could go on with my workout. I am fairly certain I will never see any of them again.
9 thoughts on “Bizarre Gym Event”
Clearly an indoctrination exercise by the CIA, and the whole thing an induced hallucination. They had picked up your regular visits to the gym via your pass card punch-ins and coated the punch-in point immediately prior to the expected moment with an LSD derivative. You will now begin using WordPress and Google on a regular basis, providing them with regular updates on your position and current thoughts and feelings while at the same time unconsciously transmitting subliminal commands to your readers. Welcome to the future. Welcome to the future. Welcome to the future. Welcome to the future. Welcome to the future. Welcome to the future. Welcome to the future. Welcome to the future. Welcome to the future. Welcome to the future.
It wouldn’t surprise me considering the search strings one would find coming from this computer (It’s all research, I promise!) Sadly, I think it failed. Been nearly two weeks since my last post (!) I apologize. Uni is really killing me, but I should have everything under control soon. When can you meet up?
I can be pretty flexible. Where may be more of a point to nail. And I presume you will have some kind of schedule at the university?
Yes, I am busy every Monday (and some other days as well depending on if there’s an event on or not). I am usually free on Saturdays and Sundays. Is it easy for you to get into Manchester? Where exactly do you live?
An e-mail is on its way.
Strange, indeed! You need to keep this for a future scene in one of your stories. Why on earth did they pick the gym of all places? And what were the strange scribbles on the wall? And if they were there to discuss social media, why bother getting dressed in gym clothes? It’s all very, very strange.
that’s a great idea! I always wanted to write an odd supernatural comedic adult fiction novel (this is actually true, I have notes about it everywhere). I know, it’s rather odd, isn’t it? Maybe they just felt more comfy that way. I too like to dress in gym clothes hah!
this is hilarious!
Dude, you need to return to blogging!!! I miss reading posts like these!!! Anyhow, I assume these people never returned to the “gym” because they got too busy liking and sharing things on social media …